


Not Tommy

by pyrosgf



Series: Plotbunny Graveyard - Where Ideas Go To Die [8]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 06:28:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1808695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrosgf/pseuds/pyrosgf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This one was based on a dream I had ages ago about Tommy leaving Adam's band to go to culinary school.  Culinary school didn't seem quite right when I started writing, so we have the fall out of Tommy confessing his feelings for Adam and Tommy running away to help a friend.  Cris is Tommy' friend Cris Jan Lim aka @lusheslim.  Last time I touched this was back in April before I knew Cris was shooting TJR.</p><p>As of now I've completely given up on finishing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Tommy

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a non-profit, non-commercial work of fiction using the names and likenesses of real individuals. This fictional story is not intended to imply that the events herein actually occurred, or that the attitudes or behaviors described are engaged in or condoned by the real persons whose names are used without permission.

Up until now the past nine months since his last show on New Year’s Eve had been all work and no play. Adam was spending more time in the studio than at home. Tonight though, while it was technically a job, Adam was living out a dream he never thought he would experience. He’d been asked to model in New York Fashion Week by The Blonds and was backstage among a flurry of excitement. It was almost too much to comprehend. 

He was already in the outfit, skinny jeans that were more like tights with a zipper (they left nothing to the imagination), and their new line of men’s corsets. He was very conscious of the amount of skin he was showing, the tarnished gold of the corset’s boning ending just below his nipples. It was okay, though, or so he kept telling himself. He sat down carefully, very aware of how little room his balls had in this outfit and grabbed the knee high boots that were the final piece to his outfit. He pulled on one, then the other, noting the arch of his foot inside the shoe. He sent out a silent prayer to the universe that he didn’t fall in these things, he’d never worn a boot without a heel. These were very Gaga, not so much Adam, but he wasn’t about to question The Blonds’ vision. Then the laces. The shoes were black leather and the laces that were provided were the same tarnished gold detailing that ran through the corset and his jeans. The little flecks of color in the jeans could only be seen if you were really looking for them, but he had no doubt that everyone would be inspecting every inch of him tonight.

Carefully Adam laced up the boots, taking his time and ignoring the bustle of activity around him. He breathed shallowly the corset’s boning digging into his skin due to the way he was bent over. He thought about a million things while pulling the strings through each tiny hole in turn. His mind was alive with curiosity. Would this be his first and only time on the catwalk? Would it turn into something more? _Maybe?_ But not now, wrong time. His new music was too important to him to get too distracted by the fashion and the lights. He would enjoy tonight though. 

“Sir?” The voice pulled him from the recesses of his mind. 

Adam looked up and his breath caught somewhere in his throat because for an instant the face staring down at him was Tommy. _The voice,_ he reminded himself and shook his head. When he looked again the guy before him was definitely not Tommy. This guy had a shock of blond hair cut much like Tommy’s fringe, but lacked the elfin beauty. Adam sighed to himself. It was only the fifth time he’d seen a Not Tommy this week. 

“Yes?” he asked, finally pushing away the regrets that threatened to climb on his back. 

“When Alicia was doing your hair and makeup, she forgot to put on the shimmer lotion. It will make you look like a star under all those lights.” The guy smiled faintly and offered the bottle to Adam. 

Adam knew there was no way he would be able to reach all the exposed areas of his skin and as much as the idea almost made his skin crawl, he knew he had to ask for help from the Not Tommy. _Not Tommy, ugh,_ Adam berated himself, knowing that this young man had a name. _And if you weren’t such an ass maybe Tommy would be by your side to help you with this instead of in fucking New Orleans._

“Umm,” he hesitated. “I didn’t catch your name.” Adam really didn’t want to ask for this guy to put his hands on him without even knowing his name. 

“Thomas,” the dude replied and Adam whined mentally. _Of fucking course his name was Thomas, as close to Tommy as he’d encountered with all the Not Tommys he’d met in the past few months._

“Thomas,” Adam mumbled and most certainly did not wince when the word nearly got stuck in his throat. “Can you help me with this?”

Thomas’ eyes went wide. “You want me to… ummm,” he squeaked. 

“Yeah, I can’t reach my back and shoulders.”

Thomas nodded and Adam saw the kid’s grip tighten on the bottle in his hand for just a moment before he popped the lid and poured some of the pearly substance into his palm. Adam had to give Thomas credit, as much as he looked like a deer in headlights standing there rubbing lotion into Adam’s skin, he was quick and efficient. Soon he was shimmering, the lights bouncing off flecks of glitter instead of the reddish brown of the millions of freckles that dotted his skin and the sheen on his tattoos was mesmerizing. Thomas scurried toward Alicia’s station and Adam finished lacing his boots. He stood, taking a minute to get a feel of the boots and the way he was standing completely on the balls of his feet. The fact that all of his weight was at the front of his foot was off, so used to relying on a heel, but he had no choice. These shoes had no heel and gave the illusion he had hooves instead of feet. It felt strange and he was thankful it was only a runway so he wouldn’t have to wear these things all night. He went over to the nearest mirror and took in his reflection. His hair was high on his head and shimmered gold, the gel Alicia had used to style it contained glitter. He feared he was going to look glam Adam circa 2010 for weeks after this. 

Adam was entranced though at the cat eye Alicia had done with the eyeliner. And the shadows were in bronze and silver tones with sharp blue highlights. He would’ve never chosen this look himself, but it worked somehow. Lower he noted the shimmer of the gloss that painted his lips, the shade concealed most of the freckles that dotted his lower lip, only one or two peeking through. And his face had been dusted with mineral foundation and a million other products to the point that if he was just glancing he felt like his face had been airbrushed in the mirror. 

Adam posed with his hand on his hips, taking in the way the corset pulled in his form, giving him more curves than he naturally possessed and it was striking with the height the boots gave him, making him look much longer and leaner than he actually was. For a minute he felt like Starchild, the crazy, over-the-top alter ego to Elliot Gilbert, his character on GLEE. He smiled fondly, thinking the only thing Starchild would’ve insisted on was a funky top hat. 

Adam finally took his eyes off his reflection and paced back and forth in the small area beside the makeup stations. He needed to get a feel of these boots. The lack of heel made him occasionally feel like he was teetering on a ledge, but after about six passes he felt confident he could make it down the runway and back without breaking his neck. Apparently balance wasn’t on his side when he turned around the final time to head back to the bench until show time. When he turned he almost ran straight into Thomas and he was so startled he jumped, losing his already precarious balance on the Gaga-esque shoes, and if not for strong hands clasping his wrists he would’ve spilled into the floor. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you Mr. Lambert,” Thomas babbled, obviously unnerved by nearly causing Adam to bust his ass. 

“It’s okay,” Adam replied through a shuddering breath. “I’m fine, what did you need?” 

“I was supposed to give you your gloves, but I forgot my bag and… ugh Alicia is gonna murder me if you go out there unfinished for the show.”

It was then Adam noticed the tote that hung on Thomas’ shoulders. Adam watched him as he dug through his bag and pulled out a pair of fingerless gloves. These, oh Adam was in love. They were black leather, distressed, and it was almost like there was tarnished gold hiding beneath the leather. They were gorgeous and when Thomas handed them over Adam slid one, then the other over his hands. They were soft and felt like they’d been worn in, unlike some of the pairs of gloves he’d worn in the past that were stiff and a little itchy. They were also lined with a soft bronze fabric that felt smooth against his skin. The Blonds were definitely consistent in the look they wanted for him and he had to admit he loved it. 

“Umm, break a leg,” Thomas mumbled, eyes downcast like he was nervous before heading back to Alicia’s area. 

Adam smiled and called out his thanks before flopping down on the bench, his mind wandering to Tommy again. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as memories flooded like a picture show in his mind. So many mistakes, so many opportunities lost. Agitation took over and he wanted to run his fingers through his hair but stopped when the hustle and bustle of those around him reached his brain. He realized he was being called for and stood up and headed to the wings of the stage. The Blonds were there, looking over everyone, lining everyone up so that their outfits would match the backdrops and lighting they’d chosen for each outfit. Adam shoved everything else out of his mind. Tonight he was going to kill it!

…

Tommy groaned and wiped at the sweat that attempted to drip off his brow and into the gumbo he’d finally managed to learn how to cook without it tasting like ass. The last thing he needed was to contaminate it with sweat. He definitely did not have the time to make up another batch for these orders with as busy as Voodoo was tonight. Tommy shook his head yet again, of all the things Cris could’ve called this damned establishment, it had to be Voodoo. It was a word that reminded him of his past every fucking day. 

Tommy swiped at his forehead again, arm brushing against the hair net that was pinning his fringe to his forehead. He turned and glared at Cris who was plating dishes, his dark hair just fitting into a tiny pony tail, under the hair net. He wondered for the millionth time why he’d agreed to come to New Orleans to help Cris, but in his heart he knew the answer, he was running. He’d been running since New Year’s Eve. 

Tommy shrugged away the thought and cursed the oppressive humid air in the kitchen for the thousandth time. It didn’t help that now there were five other bodies in the tiny area not counting the wait staff going in and out. In the beginning it had just been Tommy, their barebones staff, and a very desperate Cris. 

_It was three days into 2014 and Tommy already wanted the year to be over. Everything had already gone horribly wrong and the urge to get away, as far away as humanly possibly coursed just beneath his skin. He knew he’d been taking a risk by being honest with Adam, but he hadn’t expected, no, he thought after all that Adam had gone through that Adam would understand._

_Thinking about it only fueled anger and he’d been mad enough after ringing in the New Year and finally talking to Adam. He’d figured a New Year and a fresh start, he thought it was time. Apparently, he’d been wrong. He raked his fingers through his hair remembering his disbelief when Adam had flipped the fuck out. Then he remembered the way he’d screamed his fury, everything directed at Adam, and Adam’s face in the aftermath. The rage had felt deliciously hot under his skin, pushing back the hurt and the fact he was sure his heart had been crushed to fine powder in his chest. Three days later he could see it for what it was. Anger was a lot easier to go with than the heartache he felt now._

_Tommy’s phone blared through his thoughts and he grabbed it off the side table. He’d been in bed since he’d gotten home after his flight and he had no intentions of moving from it. He checked the phone and was more than a little confused to find Cris’ name on the screen._

_He and Cris had met during Tommy’s brief stint in culinary school. He’d been trying to appease his mother, but after almost burning down the building when he’d forgotten to set the timer on a pan of yeast rolls, he’d bowed out gracefully. He and Cris had kept in touch through the years and had been drinking buddies. He liked Cris because when Cris got drunk he was Tommy level of touchy feely and they’d had more than a few make out sessions during those drunken nights. With the whole whirlwind after joining Adam’s band he’d seen less and less of Cris, but they’d kept in touch, kinda. He couldn’t actually remember the last time they’d talked._

_Tommy accepted the call and put the phone to his ear._

_“What took you so long? I thought I was going to have to call back to wake your dead ass up. Because I knew noon LA time was early for you my favorite vampire,” Cris grumbled followed by laughter._

_“I was up asshole, just deciding whether or not I felt like answering the phone. I haven’t exactly felt like conversation lately,” Tommy snapped playfully._

_“Oh, poor baby. Listen TJ, I need help. Like seriously I am in **such** a bind and you’re the only person left I can think of who might be able to help me.” _

_Tommy shift in his bed until he was sitting upright with his back against the headboard. “Oh so I’m saving your ass again?” Tommy laughed._

_“Dude, I finally did it… I’m opening my own restaurant, but fuck! I’m opening on Wednesday and I only have a handful of people in the kitchen and one fucking waiter. There’s no way I can open this place without one more set of hands and even then I’m pushing my luck, but I’ve already got too much money invested to push back the opening date any longer. I need you here Tommy.”_

_Tommy couldn’t believe his ears. “Umm… you do remember why I dropped out of culinary school, right?”_

_“Yes, yes, of course I do, but I need help. I’m desperate. Come on Tommy, I’m in New Orleans, home of all the blues music you can stuff yourself with. I know you’ve got a pretty good gig now with Adam and I know I can’t pay you like he does, but I really need a friend right now,” Cris pleaded._

_Damn Cris knew his weakness. He’d never been able to refuse a friend who needed help. He hadn’t been too frivolous with his earnings through his years with Adam so he could afford to fly out and give Cris a hand. So what if a part of the allure was that it got him away from Adam. “I’ll do it,” he finally huffed into the phone._

_“Yes,” Cris hissed. “Don’t worry, at first you won’t have to cook a thing. I’ll let you wait tables and then when business is slow I’ll teach you to cook myself.”_

_They made plans and Tommy booked himself a flight, all the while never mentioning to Cris that he wouldn’t have to quit Adam’s band. He’d already quit three nights prior._

Tommy hustled, dishes clanking and clattering as he washed them. He just wanted tonight to end. He’d waited tables at the beginning of his shift until Christine came in, then he’d been thrown into the kitchen with his least favorite item on the menu, gumbo, and his final joy of his shift was bussing tables and washing the piles of dishes that were stacked in the sink. When the final one was sprayed clean with water so hot it steamed, Tommy threw off his apron and hair net, called out his goodbye to Cris and punched out. 

He walked out of Voodoo, no place really in mind to go. The air of the New Orleans night wasn’t as heavy as inside the kitchen, but it was still sticky out and he wondered if he would ever get used to this flavor of humidity. He walked through the streets, unable to comprehend he’d been here nine months already, in that time, he’d thrown down some roots. He had a small apartment just outside the French Quarter and on his nights off he occasionally played guitar at some of the local bars. Blues ran like the Mississippi in these parts and that’s what kept him alive. Music was why he hadn’t left Voodoo, and the lure of this place. It felt a little more like home every day, when his mind didn’t drift to the thoughts of everything he’d left behind.

When he finally paid attention to where he was, he was standing in front of one of the bakeries in the French Quarter. Croissant D'Or Patisserie stood in front of him, and though it was closed, his nose twitched at the scent emanating from the place. He was sure he’d walked past it before, the area looked familiar enough, but since he had tomorrow off he had a feeling he’d be right back here for breakfast. He’d been having quite the time sampling the local cuisine. With that thought in mind he looked around until he got his bearings and headed back toward his apartment. It had been a long day, and all he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep a sleep without haunting dreams of the man he’d wanted so badly. 

2

Modeling hadn’t been terrible and at this point Adam would honestly trade those damned uncomfortable boots for the driveling that’s ten times more uncomfortable all coming from the guy sitting across from him. It was a date, not because he wanted to go out on a date with this guy, but because when he ran into him at a bar a few nights ago his manager’s voice had sounded too loudly in his head to be ignored. The guy, Alex, had asked him out and in his head there was a voice reminding him that he wasn’t getting any younger. He’d sighed to himself and exchanged details with Alex and that’s how he found himself here. 

Alex was well, he kind of reminded Adam of one of the cast of Queer as Folk, he’ was tiny and blond. Not only that, but he also came with a slight French accent, apparently from having spent his youth in Paris. Adam would have normally been more interested in trying not to be rude, but Alex was not a Not Tommy, and he was not Tommy so Adam really found his mind wandering off to other things while Alex babbled on about his bitchy ex. Seriously, who talked about their ex on a first date, he wondered. 

The waiter asked what drinks they would be having and when Adam looked up he wasn’t even surprised to see a Not Tommy in front of him. He shook it off and found that this guy really didn’t look a thing like Tommy and scolded his mind for playing tricks on him. Though he was pleased that this was only the first Not Tommy he’d run into this week and it was already Friday. 

The night droned on and on until Adam’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out long enough to see that Tommy tweeted. Adam didn’t know why, but he still got butterflies whenever Tommy’s words came across the tiny screen. Tommy didn’t tweet often anymore, but when he did Adam found himself almost holding his breath. Tonight one hundred and forty characters weren’t necessary as it was just a caption that said ‘fuck yes,’ of a platter of sushi and he was pretty sure the dish was larger than Tommy’s head. Adam smiled to himself. He missed Tommy, _badly_ , but a tweet here and there definitely made Tommy feel closer. He just regretted being such a moron in the moment. If he hadn’t been then maybe he wouldn’t be here with Alex, wishing he was in New Orleans.

_He felt sweat dripping down his back, his clothes clinging to his body in a way the made him wrinkle his nose. It was worth it though, the way the fans screamed and carried on, it felt good, amazing even to go up for his final bow with his band fanning out on either side of him. Tommy though, was right there beside him like always._

_Adam walked off the stage, happy that the Pittsburg Pride show had gone over so well. It felt good and it took his mind off things. Mainly the cloying loneliness that had tried to consume him the past few months. Amicably splitting with your boyfriend was a nice way to end things he supposed, but his birthday had been hard, Valentine’s Day even worse while he and Sauli came together as friends, and then the announcement after the Helsinki date when he finally confessed to an interviewer that he and Sauli were no longer together._

_“You okay?” Tommy asked later when they got back to the hotel he and Tommy flaked out in Adam’s bed watching Velvet Goldmine for the millionth time._

_“It’s,” Adam paused, not sure how to word it._

_“Strange?’_

_“Well, you know… I mean you and Liz…”_

_“Yeah, but she and I didn’t live together. You and Sauli have been together for over two years now and living together almost just as long. I can’t imagine.” Tommy shifted closer and it was natural for Adam to throw his arm around Tommy._

_“It’s quiet in the new place, but at least I don’t have a million memories of Sauli there. I got a fresh start,” Adam sighed._

_“At least you guys can still talk. Liz blocked my number,” Tommy said sulkily._

_Adam chuckled. “Ya know, I really don’t blame her, she found a girls number wrote on your underwear.”_

_“You know I didn’t…” Tommy trailed off._

_Adam definitely knew that Tommy was innocent, if there was one thing Tommy was with the people he let into his life it was loyal. He however didn’t blame Liz a bit for flying off the handle. It looked suspicious, but it wasn’t Tommy’s fault that a fan had gifted him with underwear and that he didn’t notice a phone number scrawled on the tag._

_“Yeah,” Adam said a after a few moments. “You’re a good guy, I know you didn’t cheat.”_

_“I didn’t,” Tommy agreed, and when he shifted closer to Adam there was a tension in Tommy’s body he wasn’t used to feeling. “I wanted to though.” The tension left Tommy’s body with the confession and Adam was honestly shocked. He’d never witnessed Tommy even looking at another woman._

_“With who?” Adam practically squawked._

_Tommy broke their eye contact before Adam could get a read on the emotions flickering through those dark brown orbs. “I… it’s nothing,” Tommy finally sighed._

_It was more than weird for Tommy not to divulge the details, he knew he could tell Adam anything, but tonight apparently was the first time he was aware of Tommy keeping something from him. It puzzled him and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if maybe the reason Tommy didn’t want to say who it was, was because it was someone from the band. He knew Adam frowned upon mixing business with pleasure, but what Tommy didn’t know was how hard it was for Adam to keep to his own rules. The only thing that had saved him thus far was knowing that Tommy was straight, otherwise the temptation of years of kissing Tommy along with the loneliness he felt post breakup would’ve lead him into breaking his own rules. Adam sighed to himself, it was never going to happen. He knew he just needed to relegate Tommy to his spank bank and move on._

Adam was more than a little relieved when Alex cited an early morning and decided he should probably just head home after their late dinner instead of going for drinks. Adam definitely didn’t mind. 

When Adam unlocked the door to his home he kicked off his shoes by the door. The house was quiet, the darkness only purged by the bay windows in the living room that brought in light from the city. He loved living in the hills and watching Hollywood glitter down below. Now it was only a reminder of the fact there were all those people down there with families and it made him feel completely alone. He shrugged off the thoughts and wiggled out of his shirt on the way to his bedroom. He shimmied out of his jeans when he reached his room and retrieved his phone from the back pocket before tossing the shirt and his jeans into the laundry basket. He dug his socked toes into the plush carpet and pushed open the sliding glass door to the balcony to let in the cool night air. It’s how he liked to end his evenings, by flopping down in his bed, the cool breeze wafting over his bare skin, and his phone in hand, scrolling through picture after picture of Tommy that he’d taken through the years. 

It made Adam feel like a lovesick puppy. Pining over a man he’d turned away because he was too damned scared to take a leap of faith. And just like every other night he ended with a candid of Tommy that he’d snapped at some venue in the middle of nowhere about halfway through Glam Nation. It was of Tommy after he’d just stepped out of the shower in Adam’s dressing room, towel wrapped firmly around his narrow hips. He searched out every little detail the way he’d done a million times before. Tommy’s smirk when he’d posed with his hand on his hip. Tommy’s long fingers, tipped with black polish stood out against the snow white of the towel. Tommy’s fringe plastered to his forehead and the rivulets of water that trailed down his cheek. Tommy’s rosy nipples stood at attention from the cool air against his skin. Adam groaned, his eyes slipping closed, his hand slipping down his torso, the light touch making himself shiver. It was so good just to wrap his hand around his length, feeling himself harden in his palm, while images danced in his mind of all the things he wanted to do to Tommy. 

_But you can’t and you won’t unless you finally get your head out of your ass and talk to him,_ Adam’s mind shouted. Every few nights that same voice yelled at him, it sounded a lot like Sutan, even though his Fairy Tranmother hadn’t said another word about Tommy since chewing him out over losing his life partner six months ago because Adam was a dumbass. Now when he and Sutan hung out, it was as if Tommy never existed. Neither knew how to bring him into the conversation, so there was a void where Tommy used to be. 

That voice in his head was also enough to provide a proverbial shot of ice water to his plans and Adam sighed, his hand falling away from his cock. Defeated he rolled over and tried to go to sleep. For some reason though, he thought maybe it was the boring date with Alex, Adam kept thinking about going to New Orleans. The thought drifted in and out of his mind every time Tommy came to mind, but tonight for whatever reason it stuck like glue. From the time his head hit the pillow until ass o’clock in the morning when his alarm blared he turned over a million scenarios in his head. 

Adam hadn’t slept a wink his mind focused on all the wrong he’d done this year starting with the biggest bomb on New Year’s. The more he thought about it the more he felt like an ass for embarrassing Tommy. At the beginning anyway, then Tommy got angry and things came to a head and an atom bomb might as well have gone off between them, leaving their friendship in the ashes. Maybe he was wrong though. The more he thought about it the more he thought maybe he could win Tommy over with a grand gesture of love. What Tommy didn’t know is Adam had been pining for Tommy since almost the beginning. Tommy was easy to fall for, but he just never thought he had a chance. Maybe he had or maybe he was just overly tired and damned near delusional, but instead of rolling out of bed to get ready to head to the studio he made a few phone calls. The first was to the studio to let them know he had to cancel, and the others were to book his flight, a car, and a hotel room in New Orleans. He didn’t know why it had taken him this long, but it was past time for him to go see Tommy, they really needed to talk. No matter what else happened, whether he could convince Tommy to come back home or not, he owed Tommy an apology for blowing up the way he had.

… 

Tommy was up earlier than usual, but he’d wanted to check out the little bakery in the French Quarter. He walked along the streets enjoying the sounds of people talking excitedly around him. Always being surrounded by tourists was interesting, their excitement was sometimes infectious and he found himself smiling at a little girl with her mother as she toddled past. 

Croissant D'Or Patisserie smelled even better now, his nose twitched, the scents of pastries filling his nostrils when he opened the door. He walked up to the counter and gazed into the display cases at all the delicious desserts. He didn’t have the biggest sweet tooth, but he could definitely appreciate the work that had been put into all these decadent delights. Then he finally searched the menu on the board behind the counter. There were still a couple of customers ahead of him so he had time to decide. Or so he thought when the sound of someone clearing their throat caught his attention. 

“Can I take your order, sir?” The guy asked when he realized he had Tommy’s attention.

The guy, Tony, per his name tag was cute. Tommy was drawn in by his smile, dimples peeking through and making Tommy swoon in a way he hadn’t in, well ever really. He realized he was making an ass of himself and shushed his spastic thoughts then stepped up to the counter. Tony winked at him and Tommy felt a blush creep across his cheeks. He was suddenly glad he’d put on a nice t-shirt instead of the ratty old wife beater he’d come across first in his laundry basket. For some reason he was glad he looked halfway presentable. 

“Yeah, umm… can I like get a ham and cheese croissant and a black coffee?” 

“Well, you could, but I really recommend the hazelnut espresso, black coffee is so boring. And you don’t look boring,” Tony said, and Tommy could see Tony’s eyes locked on his hair. 

“Alright then, I’ll give it a try. Might as well take a walk on the wild side this morning.” Tommy smiled and reached for his wallet. He couldn’t believe he was honestly flirting with the bakery guy, but it felt good. It felt nice to be noticed. 

When Tommy had his breakfast and the espresso he headed to a small table in front of the window. The sun was just reaching her fingers over the building, rays flooding the Quarter when he took his first bite. He wasn’t expecting for the croissant to be this warm and flaky. It practically melted in his mouth, the cheese just the right amount of melty, and the ham balancing everything with a nice saltiness on his tongue. He would definitely be coming back here. 

“So what about tonight?” Tommy startled, too lost in his breakfast to notice that Tony had come up behind him. 

“Umm what?” Tommy asked.

Tony pulled out the chair and sat down. “You said you wanted to take a walk on the wild side this morning, well what about tonight? Come dancing with me?” 

Tommy couldn’t believe his ears. He’d been hit on occasionally by men, but he’d never had a man ask him out on a date. “I uhh, I don’t really dance.” 

“I’ll teach you,” Tony promised. “I gotta get back to work, but here, text me your address later. I’ll pick you up at eight.” Tony slid a napkin toward Tommy before giving him one more teasing smile, then he got up and returned to the counter. 

Tommy sighed, unsure of what he thought about this. He was flattered, but dancing? Tommy would have to think on it.

He mulled over his breakfast, his eyes darting occasionally to the register to watch Tony interacting the customers. It had been months since he landed in New Orleans and he hadn’t been with anyone since he’d been here. The thought of Tony’s well-defined arms pulling Tommy close on the dance floor sounded nice. His dick also had its own opinion about the situation, he wasn’t hard yet, but if he thought much more about being up in Tony’s space it wouldn’t take long. Tommy sighed and sipped his damned fancy coffee, which really was pretty tasty he had to admit. He was looking for an excuse to ignore his brain and the twitch of his fingers that wanted to reach for his cell phone to text Tony his address. 

Tommy didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready. He was hurt by Adam, but some crazy internal memo in his mind still felt like he would be betraying Adam. 

“Fuck that,” he murmured to himself. Adam hadn’t cared about stomping on his emotions, no it was clear Adam didn’t want Tommy. It was all laid out for him the night Adam rejected him. His throat closed at the sound that wanted to escape, the memory of that night seeping into his consciousness and blurring his vision. He shook his head, dislodging the memory before it could replay in his mind for the millionth time. Nothing ever changed, he couldn’t do anything about it, so it was obviously time to move on. That thought in mind, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, and texted Tony his address. 

Tommy finished his breakfast and on his way out he called out his thanks and waved goodbye to Tony. Now Tommy just needed to figure out what the hell to wear on his first actual date with a guy. 

-

Tommy had spent way too long looking through every item of clothing he owned. He was having flashbacks to watching Lisa fling everything out of her closet when she was getting ready for a date when they were teenagers. He’d always thought it was ridiculous to worry so much about what you were wearing. He didn’t know how she felt even after he started dating. It was always easy just to throw on some jeans, a t-shirt, and maybe some eyeliner if he was feeling it. Now though, his closet looked like it had projectile vomited all over his room and he still didn’t have a clue what to wear. 

At this point, he figured it was time to admit defeat. He needed help and he hoped he still knew someone who’d be willing to talk to him about it. Even though he knew he’d been a terrible friend by just up and leaving and making no effort to keep in touch. 

Tommy grabbed his phone and scrolled through his contacts and hit send. It wasn’t until after the phone started ringing he realized that while it was after ten in New Orleans, it was only just past eight in LA. Sutan’s voice came through the line a little rough. 

“You better be dying.” 

“Umm, good morning to you to, life partner,” Tommy replied. 

“What? Wait.” Sutan sounded more awake now and he heard movement and for several seconds. “Sorry, sorry, late night last night. Didn’t get to sleep until dawn. I didn’t see who was calling…” Sutan trailed of and Tommy heard more shifting around. “You aren’t dying right?” Sutan finally continued. 

“Not dying, just… I need some advice and you’re the only one I know to ask.”

“You know I’ll help any way I can, baby. I miss you.” Sutan’s voice is filled with emotion and it made Tommy feel like a complete dick for checking out of their friendship. 

“I miss you, too. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t stay there. Adam…” Tommy sighed, like that explained everything.

“I know, after our last phone call I chewed his ass out. We haven’t… we haven’t really talked about you since then, but I was hoping you would call.”

“Things just got busy. I started playing at a local place here along with work.” Tommy chipped at his fingernail polish for several seconds before finding the nerve to admit the truth. “Damnit, no, it wasn’t that. Sutan, you know I love you and it wasn’t personal, but everything to do with LA just hurt. Everything there reminds me of him.” 

“It’s okay, Vayvee. I forgive you this time. But you better keep in touch with your life partner from now on.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tommy agreed. 

“Now what did you need, pretty?”

Tommy flushed and let his fringe fall over his eye, an unconscious habit to dealing with Sutan’s pet names, one so ingrained it apparently still held true even through the phone. 

“I… this guy asked me out dancing tonight and I don’t know what to wear.” Tommy chewed his bottom lip when Sutan’s laughter filled the line. 

It takes a minute for the giggles to diminish. “Oh honey, I didn’t imagine you’d be calling me with boy troubles.” 

Tommy ducked further behind his fringe until soft strands tickled his nose. “I met him this morning at a bakery. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go out, but I guess it’s time I try to move on.”

“Well then, for dancing I suggest a tight pair of skinny jeans and a band tee. Most importantly, comfortable shoes.” 

“Band tee, what?”

“Babe, you’re overthinking this. The guy obviously was attracted to you, not your clothes. Be you.” 

“You’re right. Shit, how are you so damned wise?” Tommy giggled and Sutan joined in.

“It comes with age sweetheart, when you’re as old as I am, you learn a thing or two about relationships. So don’t fret the small things. Just be open to the experience. And please, whatever you do, do NOT compare this guy to Adam.” 

Tommy muttered that he wouldn’t do such a thing, but made a mental note not to before promising he’d be in touch soon and they said their goodbyes. 

-

Tommy was just getting out of the shower when there was a knock at the door. He frowned, it was only just past six. 

“Just a minute,” he called and hurriedly dried off before tugging on his jeans. He didn’t bother with a shirt. 

He hurried to the door and when he opened it, there was Tony. “Hi, I know I’m early, I’m sorry. I just thought you might want to eat before we head out. I brought take out.” Tony held up the bags in his hand. It was almost too comical. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I bought a little bit of everything, but I’ve heard their gumbo is to die for.”

Tommy started laughing then, he couldn’t stop himself, his eyes focused on the take out bags with Voodoo’s logo swirled along the sides. When he looked up, Tony looks confused. “Sorry, no, really it’s great. It’s just ironic because I work at Voodoo.” 

Tony laughed then and Tommy ushered him in and directed him to the coffee table in front of the couch. “Sorry, I’ve been here nine months and still haven’t found a reason to need a proper dining table. I always just eat out or in front of the TV.” 

“Hey, no problem… I’ll just unpack everything.” Tommy noticed the way Tony looked at his bare chest.

“And I’ll… go finish getting dressed.” Tommy’s laughter sounded nervous to his own ears. He wondered to himself why he thought this was a good idea. Tommy hadn’t ever gone on a date with a guy, why the hell he thought he could now was beyond him. He needed to move on, that was what this was all about. It was far past time for him to learn how to date a man. Seriously, it couldn’t be _that_ different.

Except that it apparently was, Tommy decided sometimes after getting dressed and having dinner with Tony. About the time they were making out like teenagers on his couch and when he crawled into Tony’s lap he could feel the line of Tony’s erection. Different, but not bad, he decided.

3

Adam couldn’t fucking believe he was driving all the way to Orange County to fly out of John Wayne Airport, but even in disguise he knew he’d be spotted at LAX. That’s how he found himself in his car, cussing the ugly mullet wig he was sporting. He looked like Bud Bundy with a trucker hat and the cheapest pair of ‘normal’ looking sunglasses he could find in his collection. If that wasn’t enough he’d pulled on a yellow and black plaid shirt and chose some loose boot- cut jeans paired with ratty old sneakers to complete the look. Every time he saw his reflection in the rearview mirror he sneered, but hopefully this look would keep him from being recognized. He didn’t want word to get out that he was leaving LA. Even though it was unlikely, he didn’t want people to find out he was headed to New Orleans, when fans knew that’s where Tommy was right now. 

Word had gotten out that Tommy was in New Orleans after someone spotted him at a blues place not too long after Tommy disappeared of Adam’s radar. It wasn’t long before he’d pestered Sutan into telling him why Tommy had chosen to run to Louisiana. It was handy now. Now he knew where Tommy was working. Surely he could drop in at Voodoo and then maybe Tommy would talk to him, he hoped. 

Security at the airport was a pain as usual, even more so because Adam was in disguise. Every time he was asked for ID he had to take off the sunglasses and flash a smile so he would be partially recognizable. Then it was boarding time, and not that he was too good to sit in coach, but for the amount he paid for this flight he should be sitting in as copilot. His knees were pressed against the seat in front of him and of course he had a middle seat so he couldn’t stretch out his legs. Then there was the fact that the universe hated him because for the next hour and a half the woman beside him dozed off on his shoulder. When they landed in Salt Lake City he grumbled to himself while he was grabbing his carry on. He wished he’d been able to get a non-stop flight, but that wasn’t in the cards and it was four-thirty and he was in Utah of all places. He found his gate quickly and settled down in a corner with his phone. He wanted to call Tommy, wanted to hear his voice, but soon. He would be there soon and after showering off the airport grime when he got to New Orleans, he would find Tommy.

Adam passed the time on twitter, watching his replies. He replied to a couple asking about GLEE and the next album and before he knew it his flight was boarding. He turned off his phone and shoved it into his pocket, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and when he returned his section was boarding. Once he got onto the plane the other people in his row were already settled. Adam was relieved that this time around he would have the aisle seat. He put away his carry on and settled down. He figured he might as well sleep for the next three hours. It was better than fidgeting the way he wanted. 

It was a little past nine at night when they landed in Louisiana. Adam was excited and terrified at the prospect. It was going on ten when he got through baggage claim and picked up his rental and after eleven when he finished showering and getting dressed at the hotel. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time. He felt better now, back in his skin, but still put on the sunglasses and a beanie over his hair. It wasn’t as foolproof a disguise as the ‘Billy Bob’ look, but it would do. After all, he was just going to drive over to Voodoo in a Toyota Camry of all things. He wasn’t going to be walking the streets.


End file.
